After the Abuse: A Story of Healing

Just a friendly reminder for anyone who needs it:)

Forward Walking

I hope that you have never had to go through the pain of an abusive relationship. If you have, my heart goes out to you. Because healing from such a relationship is almost as hard as the relationship itself. It’s a struggle, a battle to come out happy, healthy, and whole. The following is one such story from a friend of mine who wishes to remain anonymous. If you are struggling to heal from abuse (or from any other malady of the soul), I hope that you can learn as she did to “breathe, rise up, and reach out.” — Vanae

It was 4:15 in the morning, and these were the thoughts running through my head:

“How did I become ‘that woman?’  Why do I still want to be with him? That is so sick. I hate myself for still loving him. I shouldn’t still love him. I shouldn’t want him every…

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Dream Extended Artist Dates

Extended Artist Date #1  :  Mani & Pedi, Massage, eyebrows and eyelashes, shop for a new outfit,take myself out to a dinner and a movie, spend the night in a motel.

Extended Artist Date #2  :  Hair and make-up, dress really cute, window shop, go to Starbucks and read something intellegent.

Extended Artist Date #3  :  Go on vacation by myself, rent a beach house somewhere, write and roam.

Any ideas?


October 24th 2010

Here is a journal entry from almost two years ago to the day:

My Wish List!

  1. I wish I had lots of money
  2. I wish I could go on a shopping spree
  3. I wish I owned Whole Foods
  4. I wish I could spend my time traveling the world with my friends and family
  5. I wish I could go skydiving
  6. I wish I didn’t have to take Statistics anymore
  7. I wish I had already graduated from college
  8. I wish I were married to my best friend
  9. I wish I never had to work again
  10. I wish I owned homes all over the world
  11. I wish I could buy whatever I wanted
  12. I wish I could play all my dream roles
  13. I wish I had the power to make others’ dreams come true
  14. I wish I was a guest on the Oprah Show
  15. I wish Oprah and I were good friends
  16. Ellen too
  17. I wish I were part of Oprah’s favorite things
  18. I wish I were on the Ellen show too
  19. I wish I weighed 120 pounds
  20. I especially wish that _____ would live the gospel fully and forever

Saving Fall 2011 Recap

Last year, my friend Andrew and I, we saved Fall. Yep. That was us. You are welcome.

Falling into Fall


The fall for me has always been a season for renewal and new beginnings.  I love the cool crisp air with colors to match.  I love the long sleeves, the scarves and the hats.  I love the falling leaves and the scents of pumpkins and apple cider.  But there is a part of me that is starting to dread this time of year.  It has become a tradition that every fall someone I love…falls.   And when this happens I am reminded so desperately how much we need each other.  WE NEED EACH OTHER. We need each other to cry, complain and freak out.  We need each other to lift, encourage, sustain, build and protect.  We need each other to laugh and relax.  When we do not connect and confide then we cover, we run and hide.  We isolate ourselves.  We forget ourselves.  We lose who we want to be.  We hurt…alone.

Let us band together.  Let us notice each other.  Let us take care of each other.  Let us give God a chance in our lives.  I pledge to not forget about you.  I will pray for you.  Are you in?

Parents Say the Darndest Things….

Dad: For a small town there is not a lot of junk.

Mom: If you want a sandwich I have some black beans.

Dad: Do you want the last slice of Bologna?
Me: Do what?????

Me: Dad, I don’t think Bologna is healthy for you.
Mom: Why? It is 98% fat free.

Staring at the fork in the river.
Me: I think it was Pocahontas who asked, “Should I choose the smoothest course, steady as a beating drum?”
Mom: She didn’t really say that. It was only in the movie.

Referring to dad cracking jokes all night.
Mom: Can you imagine how terrible it would be if I thought the same stupid things you did?
Dad: I wouldn’t be the only dumb Dick.
Mom: There would be two dumb Dicks.

Mom: Babette likes the wacky weed.

Mom: You need to use a breakfast bowl. We have breakfast bowls and breakfast plates and bright colored place mats. It’s what we use for breakfast.

My Friend

If you care from someone tell them so. No need to waste time. Alex, thanks for being my church husband. I am filled with regret that I kept my crush on you hidden for so long. The time we spent becoming friends and getting to know each other was lovely. I have learned a lot from you. Hard lessons but much needed lessons. You are still reminding me. Thanks. You are my dream. Love, Nicole

5 minutes that changed my life….

I do not know who these people are but somehow I was lucky enough to run into their blog and it has changed my life. Please take a few minutes to read this entry:

In Love

I need a man like this.