Dad: For a small town there is not a lot of junk.
Mom: If you want a sandwich I have some black beans.
Dad: Do you want the last slice of Bologna?
Me: Do what?????
Me: Dad, I don’t think Bologna is healthy for you.
Mom: Why? It is 98% fat free.
Staring at the fork in the river.
Me: I think it was Pocahontas who asked, “Should I choose the smoothest course, steady as a beating drum?”
Mom: She didn’t really say that. It was only in the movie.
Referring to dad cracking jokes all night.
Mom: Can you imagine how terrible it would be if I thought the same stupid things you did?
Dad: I wouldn’t be the only dumb Dick.
Mom: There would be two dumb Dicks.
Mom: Babette likes the wacky weed.
Mom: You need to use a breakfast bowl. We have breakfast bowls and breakfast plates and bright colored place mats. It’s what we use for breakfast.