My love for you has not been consistent. And I am not sorry. But today my love for you is true as true can be. Thank you Mark for letting me use your Plus.
I have had a number of people in my life commit suicide. I have often thought to myself that I could have or should have done something different. That maybe things might not have turned out the way they did. The truth is that none of us can afford to think like that. Maybe things would have been different or maybe not. We will never know.
To this day I am filled with regret and a deep sense of shame regarding one experience in my life. Luckily this story ends on a happy note. It was a busy day and I was tired, emotionally. I received a call from a dear friend. I saw who was calling me and I chose not to answer it. I felt like I did not have the energy to give to this person. They called a few more times and I still did not answer my phone. A few weeks later I went to lunch with this friend. He told me that he had tried to get a hold of me a while back. I knew what he was referring too. He confided in me that on that day he was in a very dark place. For some reason he felt he could turn to me. He wanted to kill himself and was seriously thinking about it. He didn’t know whom else to call. My friend did not kill himself and is in a lot better place now. Thank goodness. When I think about this conversation today I am just as disappointed in myself as I was the day I heard it. I vowed that if I was able I would always pick up the phone when a friend called because one just doesn’t ever know. I love my friend and I let him down in his time of greatest need. I never want to do that again, to anyone.
So Glee, Thank you. Thank you for bringing me back. Back in time. Back to my memories. Back to the truth that life is too short. Today I vow to always cheer for the underdog AND the champions. I vow to never hold back love or kindness. And I vow to never text while I drive.
Warm Regards, Nicole